The Throes of Addiction

This past weekend, I got my first glimpse into what it must be like being a crack addict looking for the next hit. All I can say is that it wasn’t pretty. What was I trying to score? Batteries for my kids, naturally.

It all started innocently enough. Our oldest is now obsessed with robots. We accordingly bought him a battery operated robot toy. The batteries lasted about as long as Kevin Federline’s tenure on the Billboard charts. As we had bought AAA rechargables, we thought it fiscally prudent to use them in this new toy lest we otherwise be forced to give our mortal souls and title to our house to the Energizer bunny.

You would be astounded how many children’s toys these days take batteries. The precision screwdriver is like the crack pipe of the parent – my wife and I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out which toy we last put the rechargeable AAA’s into. Since most of the toys are powered by AA batteries, this is trickier than it sounds – the toys mention 1.5 volts of power but NOT whether it needs AA’s or AAA’s – one must actually go to the pains of opening the battery compartment, which has anywhere between 1 to 4 screws that are arc welded to the battery compartment.

It is now a day later and we STILL have no idea where those ****ing AAA rechargables are. We have many AA’s kicking around – maybe a visit to the pawn shop is in order. Such is the life of an addict…



Motivational Tunes:
Days of the New – Enemy
Moby – We Are All Made of Stars
Nine Inch Nails – Dead Souls
Boz Scaggs – Lido Shuffle