Big Box Belligerence, Part II

Apparently, my initial rundown of the many characters you may be unfortunate enough to meet during a sejour at one of the many big box outlets was incomplete. Since my last post, our family has also managed to meet:

1) The Stall Hoarder – This fine individual sees fit to double or triple-park their car even though its value ranks somewhere between a 1986 Lada and a 1987 Chevy Acadian. Their vehicle usually has stickers saying “Super Coupe” even though said automobile actually has four doors.

2) The Playa – Straight outta Compton, this person sees fit to share the wonderful world of Hip Hop with the rest of his (women tend to have more dignity than this character) fellow shoppers. If you wonder what Spinners were on sale at Canadian Tire last weekend, check out his rims. The Playa would likely have a fear-induced pee stain running down his leg if he were within a 300 metre radius of a true Gangsta. You usually see this person two or three times because he is circling the lot waiting for his other hardcore buddies to get out of the big box store. Since “bad a*s” and “big box” have the same number of letters and both start with “B” the Playa and his entourage’s confusion is understandable.

3) The Magician – You will meet this person at the checkout line. They think they have the talent to sneak in front of you without you noticing. The Magician becomes emboldened in his/her craft when people are too polite to call them on their shenanigans.

4) The General – This person deliberates over whether or not to purchase each of the 100 items in their cart at the actual point of purchase, much to the delight of everyone else in line. Time seems to actually move backwards while this amazing strategist decides whether or not this is the week they will finally spring for the deodorant.

5) The You-Haul – How else can you aptly describe someone who can’t see fit to return a cart to the Cart Return aisle of the parking lot even though IT IS ONLY ONE STALL AWAY from their own car?!?!? A particularly odious member of this clan will even push the cart so that it causes damage to a nearby vehicle. (Mrs. P&UW actually had to stop one of these projectiles while the “pusher” gave her a vacuous stare usually reserved for when we ask our toddler to explain first year calculus)

Motivational Tunes:

Econoline Crush – Home

Front 242 – Skin

Fishbone – Sunless Saturday

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Sunday’s Free Press seems to be full of holiday cheer. On top of all of the articles on Christmas, Paul Samyn and Gordon Sinclair Jr.’s pieces cap off Christmas Eve on a high note.

While I have been critical of some of Samyn’s writings in the past, he wrote a really good article on Stephen Harper’s willingness to mention the word “Christmas” in holiday greetings. Yes, even as an agnostic, I do say “Merry Christmas” and no, it does not offend me when others wish me the same. I take offence when people try to turn the holidays into some politically correct mess. While our household may not celebrate Christmas in an overtly religious sense, we do see it as an opportunity to surround ourselves with cherished family and friends. As such, Christmas is a special day regardless of one’s religious leanings.

Gordon Sinclair Jr. does a great job making the case for renaming Winnipeg International Airport by showing the storied history of the remarkable James A. Richardson. After reading it, the only question one must wrestle with is why this wasn’t done sooner. While many know the gist of the Richardson family’s involvement in both Winnipeg and aviation history, it was nice to see a well researched piece elaborating on same. The Richardsons have done so much for our great city, sometimes I think they are taken for granted by their fellow citizens.

Merry Christmas everyone – may you spend the next few days surrounded by those who make the occasion special.

Beating Peter to Punish Paul

A little while back, I had a few musings on the increasingly political undertakings of the Winnipeg Humane Society. It would seem the WHS isn’t the only chapter engaged in such antics. Apparently, the Humane Society of the United States has called for a boycott of Canadian seafood in protest of the seal hunt. They have even managed to get everyone’s favourite alcoholic, Jimmy Buffett on board.

While the HSUS has the right to call attention to the seal hunt, I don’t understand why they feel the need to punish other seafood fishermen in the process. What say does a crab or lobster fisherman have in all this? Hasn’t our cherished East Coast suffered enough?

So this weekend, if you find yourself dining out (in between Christmas visits), do our beleaguered East and West coast neighbours a favour and throw some seafood into your dietary regimen. And if Vicki Burns is seated next to you, ask her to do the same…

KICKing A

What do you get when you meld the best of the Manitoba blogosphere with the MSM? The Great Canadian Talk Show hosted by Marty Gold, natch. This show is free of the rampant political correctness that has effectively neutered most of the local MSM’s analysis. You won’t find quaint city of Winnipeg pictorials that are launched in an effort to combat negative public perceptions of downtown. You will, however, find someone willing to honestly say that people are scared to frequent the core area and something needs to be done. Three muggings at the HSC are a problem and a “feel good” Freep photo spread won’t abate these concerns. Unlike the Freep, whose photo campaign lasted all of one day, Marty actually goes to the pains of revisiting issues with follow-ups and updates.

I must admit that an anonymous post on Andy’s blog piqued my curiosity and compelled me to tune in. Now I find myself planning my work day around the best hour on radio.

To top it off, the program also got me listening to the playlist for 92.9 FM. Many local stations play Radar Love (a song I have heard about three times a day for the past few decades – somebody needs to tell programming directors that Golden Earring has more than ONE single) but KICK FM is not one of them. Placebo, Depeche Mode, Jane’s Addiction and the brainy yet ballsy Why (Brian Cook has easily bested many of his influences) are only some of the artists that you will find on this section of the dial.

The breath of fresh airwaves is a pleasant thing indeed...



Motivational Tunes:
Revolting Cocks – Cattle Grind
Dream Theater – The Big Medley
Monaco - Shine
Golden Earring – The Devil Made Me Do It (there’s more to this band than Radar Love!)

True Christmas Cheer

The holiday season has a way of becoming more festive when children come into your life. They have a way of worming themselves into your cynical heart and giving you a fresh perspective on what is truly important.

Today Mrs. P&UW and I were at a store doing our holiday shopping. We saw a mother shopping with her children, one of whom was in a wheelchair. When she asked the grandmother to take her other children up the escalator, the child in the wheelchair exclaimed that they wanted to go up the escalator too. The sadness and utter dismay in their voice was heartbreaking.

Suffice it to say, a new & unwrapped toy seems so materialistic when compared to a child’s simple wish of being able to enjoy some of the most basic things we take for granted. This year our family’s charity will go to the Children’s Hospital Foundation instead of The Christmas Cheer Board. Here’s hoping that one day, medical science will find a way to get that little tyke on the escalator. That is worth more than any new & unwrapped toy…