She Just Ain’t That Into You, Pal

Once again, the rumours are starting to circulate that IKEA is going to bless us with a store. Maybe it’s the fact that most of their furniture reminds me of the morgue gurney being wheeled about in the intro to Six Feet Under but I for one do not care whether or not IKEA deems us worthy.

Some other Winnipeggers seem to have a dysfunctional relationship with IKEA. They lament that their home town doesn’t have this big box outlet while frenetically ordering from their catalogue. This conjures up images of some pathetic single fellow buying fancy dinners and bouquets for a woman who obviously does not share the same feelings. Said female has no qualms about stringing him along for the endless litany of shwag.

Perhaps those Winnipeggers, much like our single friend, must come to the realization that reeking of desperation coupled with a blind willingness to pay does not make for a compelling suitor. Once the steady stream of Winnipeg catalogue revenues stops, maybe our great city will seem far more attractive.

I personally will like IKEA a whole lot better once they start hiring Winnipeggers and paying property taxes. Just don’t expect me to buy any of their gurneys…